hello, it's me, heyou. are you troubled or kafŁkt? maybe i can help. i am as qualified to advise you as anyone else. state your problem in an informational email and i may or may not advise you. latest letters are at the top with the older ones trailing off to the bottom.
 
 
   heyou, I have a man-friend who has no place to live. He has no job or family he can turn to. He wants to live with me until who knows when. I don't know what to say to him without loosing a friend. I cannot allow him to stay with me and my dog in my one bedroom apt. Donna, Grandville, MI
   hello donna, if i were you, i would let him read what you said to me. if he is truly your friend, he will understand without question. if he doesn't, it would seem to me he is not so much the friend you think him to be. stay true to your beliefs and best of luck.
  

   heyou, i have been dreaming about my boyfriend cheating on me...we have only been dating 4 months and i already love him...and ive had maybe 3 or 4 dreams of him cheating. i dont know what this means. i mean we have a great relationship and we are always together so i dont really think that he is cheating on me in real life..but i want to know what these dreams mean ya know...it kinda bugs me. I havnt said anything to him and im not really going to either. what do these dreams mean???? AAAHHHH. Amanda M., seattle,wa
   hey amanda, perhaps you simply fear he will cheat and have set yourself up for these dreams. some people are sure dreams mean something, others, not so much. maybe these dreams are only a projection of your fears. he has no control over what you dream. unless you have true proof he is cheating, assume he is not. don't mess up a good thing over a dream. what if he dreamt you were cheating? how would you like him to react to his dream? should he get all messed up about it? i think you think not.



   heyou, I have been lusting after my best friends wife i cannot help it. when i go over to visit my buddie he tends to drink until he falls asleep. then his wife and i are left up talking and now she is even calling to tell me about thier problems! if I am ever alone with her i just want to throw her ass down and. I don't want to hurt my buddie i feel bad that i don't trust myself around this woman who is my friends wife. dennis, washington d.c.
   hey dennis, sometimes we fall for someone we can't or shouldn't have. perhaps this woman needs someone to simply talk to her. perhaps you jumping her bones is the last thing on her mind. what then? if this guy is really your best friend, then keep your lusty thoughts to yourself. talk to him and try to get him to talk to her and work out their problems. he needs to see his drinking is a problem as well.



   heyou, i have recently found out that i have gum diease and cancer in the lower jaw bones. for the past month i have been really moody with this obstackle entering my life. i have three kids and i am married and they see me cry all the time and i need to talk to some that will really listen and be a friend. kaona, 29, alabama
   hey kaona, try to contact someone that deals with this disease and see if they can put you in touch with others or a group with similar issues. i think if you were to find others in your situation, they may be able to help you cope. try not to dwell on the downside of this problem, but the upside of getting healthy again. work hard on that. do it for you. do it for your family. best of luck.



   heyou, i married this younger woman (about 34 she is) she recently asked me to another person into our relationship. At first i was liking the idea but then i found out that the other person is a domainatetrics. I tried it once and it didn't feel the way i thought i would. i felt jealous and insecure. I stopped doing it. But i suspect my wife is still dabbling in this affair .what should i do. i wish i had never said yes. vinny, 45, chicago, ill.
   hey vinny, if your wife likes this type of lifestyle and is living it behind your back, then she will live it with or without you. you need to decide if it's something you can live with or not. good luck.



   heyou, here's my problem: I want to have anal sex with my girlfriend at least just once. She keeps telling no....her ass is so hot too. I was thinking to that this might be the girl i want to spend the rest of my life with. But if she doesn't want the same things i want....i feel we will end up unhappy. the bottomline is here how do i get my girl to even try it with me? anon, 20, seattle ,wa.
   hey anon, there is no way to convince anyone of taking something up there if they really don't want it up there. what about you? want her to shove something too big up yours? maybe jam it in and out real fast a bunch? she has to want to experience that with you. if she is reluctant at any level, it will be a painful experience that you may regret and she resent. you say that "we will end up unhappy". sure, you will be unhappy because you don't get to stick your toy somewhere she doesn't want it and she will be unhappy because you won't shut the hell up about wanting to. either live with the prospect of never doing that with her or find someone that will.



   heyou, i am a divorced man for 6 years now. i have a few casual relationships here and there. my problem is i am starting to hate living alone. i would like to find a real woman who i am compatible with. my problem is i always seem to attract the wacko kind a of women. it's like i have this big x on my forehead that only dysfunctional women can see. i have a active life. i go to the health club, play golf, and have friends in which i go out to clubs with. i need a stable woman how can i find one! mike, 43, idaho
  hey mike, in the past, i too have apparently displayed this 'x' you refer to. all i can suggest is to keep your eyes open at the health club, on the golf course, and the other places you like to hang out. there is no real way to determine the wacko babes right away, of this i am sure you know. if you finger out how to detect these unreasonable life sucking demons sooner, let me know.



   heyou, i am 16 and i just moved from alabama to pa with my aunt. and her daughters have dated black guys befor and i really haven't dated a black guy and now i really really like this black guy and i'm scared of what my family will say. my grandfather is races and i'm not what should i do? and also i am 16 and i never had sex before and i want to but i'm scared of what the consequences are that go with it. and i'm scared to tell my aunt or my mom because of what they would do i feel that they may not let me go out anymore. and i keep having these dreams tht my ex boyfriend will come back and abuse me agian and my mom don't know about him abuseing me please help me?e: tammra, 16, pa/alabama
   hey tammra, the problem i see here is the fact you are only 16 and you already have been in an abusive relationship. to be honest, i think you need to spend the next couple years hanging with friends in a non-relationship manner. this would mean no boyfriends or at least no serious ones. i think you are too young to get so involved with any guy in such a serious manner, regardless of color. i guarantee that you will better understand the immense responsibilities relationships demand when your mind is more mature. as far as whether you want to be involved with a black man or not will be something you must decide on your own. you must be willing to accept the scorn you may receive from whites, blacks, and family members. it's wrong for these people to react like this, but the reality of these relationships often result in people's hate to shine bright. you have some hard choices to make, but remember, the choices you make now will effect you for the rest of your life. are you mature in mind enough to accept the outcome of your choices at 16? i was 16 once and looking back, no, i was a 16 year old idiot. i wish you luck.



   heyou, my love of my life just ended it with me. I am heartbroken! She couldn't get into my sexual lifestlye. I feel that i am doomed to never find a mate. My problem is I can't stop thinking about her. Everything reminds me of her. I can't even think about being with another woman . Love sucks! lesley,  34ish, new mex
   hey lesley, it may seem that it will be hard to find another love, but it will happen. the new love you find will help you forget about the love you lost. if i may suggest, don't go looking for love, let it find you. it will find you when you least expect it.



   heyou, Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 7 months now and she had gotten her GED so she is no longer is school and she has drifted away from all her friends all she preety much does now is Go to work, Talk to me on the phone, Or shes at my house lately ive been going with my buddies all we do is just ride aroud and get into trouble and her lately shes telling me that she does not want me to go out! i cant even stay at a buddies house i have to stay at my house and talk to her 24-7 but if i go with them ill lose her and im afraid if i keep doing what she says and not going with them and im going to lose them, needing some advice cause im like a little lost puppy. Josh, 16
   hey josh, seems to me that your girlfriend has made some changes and wants you to make some too. relationships are pretty much a give and take. you each have to adjust to each other's wants and desires in a way that pleases both of you. making demands on the other will only cause resentment and frustration and will more than likely destroy the relationship. part of me thinks your girlfriend is insecure in that perhaps you may, as you put it, "get into trouble" with your buddies. maybe even the trouble of finding a new girl. you are both so young and having these types of problems are going to happen, as being young, you are each exploring the new freedoms you have, being able to venture from your parents, and acquiring new responsibilities. learning how to handle these new responsibilities is what molds us into successful and happy adults. most of your life has had you wanting to be an adult and to do adult things. this time is just about here and you love it. you want and need to get out there and have fun with your buddies. it's natural that your girlfriend will be a bit insecure with that. imagine how you would feel if it were her hanging with her girl buddies and they were out getting into trouble. would you like that? try calling her during your time with your buddies. assure her you are not out to "get into trouble" and live up to that. remember, you will be an adult far longer than you will be young. chances are you and your girlfriend will eventually find new love elsewhere. if you really want to make it with her, you will need to have good communication with her. express to each other your wants and desires. you must be reasonable and not expect to control each other. compromise with each other's desires. other important things are trust and respect. without these qualities, your relationships are doomed. i wish you much luck, love, and happiness.



   heyou, my problem is i am in love with this girl and she doesn't even know it. everytime i see her my heart stops. we have been only friends and she undresses in front of me and changes clothes in front of me like i was her a girlfriend or something i am a guy damn it.. everytime i try to tell her how i feel i can't cause i am afraid of losing her completely. What should do? It starting to hurt just to look at her. j, 23, austin,tx
   hey j, i have been in the same situation and it is very frustrating. eventually, her feelings for you will either flourish or they will remain in 'friend' mode. you can not and should not press the issue. some girls need a guy friend they can just be friends with like a girlfriend. it sucks to be you, but if you want to remain her friend, you must proceed at her pace. if you try to move past the friend stage, she may not want that and you could lose her as you fear. even if you do move ahead with her, the relationship could fail and you will lose her as a friend as well. good luck.



   heyou, dude you could loan me some money for starters. just kidding. here's my problem my brother and i are both doing this same girl at the same time. i being the dummy i am starting to have feelings for her and now i don't want to share her with my brother any more (by the way my bro and i are twins) how can i get this girl to only be with me? ray, 26, georgia
   hey ray, you can't "get" this girl to be with you, she has to choose you. seems she has the best of both worlds. talk to her and find out what her feelings are. go with that. if she wants your bro, then let it go. if she only wants to share, then share or not.



   heyou, i need help. i have been cheating on my wife for 7 years now with this same woman. this other woman now wants me to leave my wife for her. I don't want to end my marriage. i also don't want to loose this woman i am very much in love with too. I am very angry at her right now for trying to make me choose. I want it to stay the way it is. it's just perfect the way it is for me, By the way the other woman i am seeing is married too. I don't know her husband well. help! eric, 44, new hampshire
   hey eric, you have no choice. eventually you have to choose or the choice will be made for you. how much longer do you really think this relationship will cruise along as it has? i'm surprised it's lasted 7 years. if you love your wife, make it work with her. if you love this other woman, make it work with her. make a choice and move on it. i'm thinking you will lose them both eventually.



   heyou, i am in love with a woman who has real emotional problems! i have been seeing her for 3 years now. she has real bad mood swings. sometimes she even talks about ending it all! She has had a rough life too. bad childhood and a abusive exhusband,All i want to do is help her and make her well.I am so inlove with her she is a really a beautiful person inside,and the sex is fantastic! how do i convince her to go and get help? wayne, 39, tampa
   hey wayne, in a word, run! she will never really change. the sex may be good, but that only lasts how long? do you really want to live on pins and needles the rest of the time? is the threat of non-stop mood swings really worth it? i venture to guess her past will always affect her present and her future. seriously, if you ever think to yourself, "i need to get out", then get out.



   heyou, I am on the net alot. I have chatted with this guy. My problem is that i think i would like him alot if we meet. I am even more afraid that he would like me. I know people on the net are full of shit. most people lie there asses off. I have done nothing but be truthful with this guy. he says he is being truthful. Should i meet this guy? What if he is a crazy or a murder or something? I am at a stand still here. LINDA,  30ish
   hey linda, i have met several people on the net that i eventually met in real life. i have had problems with just one of them. you really have nothing to lose by just meeting this guy. set up a meet in your area, during the day, at a public place like a restaurant, and have a female friend of yours tag along. go there with an open mind and use your head, not your heart. expecting nothing and getting something is always better than expecting something and getting nothing. as for what he may be hiding, you are on your own, just as with any new person you'd meet in life. good luck.



   heyou, I have a problem with people putting down our hot women of the net here. i am in kuwait and we men here love looking at one of the reasons why our country is so great!! # 1 reason: good looking women. it goes with our freedoms that we all have in our great country tell those bible bangers to send us some supplies, like gum, chips, slim jims, and hot babe magazines. your site is hilarious. we are all taking turns on the computer here and laughing at your crazy site. serving my country, Major, Airborne Squadron -11, from la, ca, usa
   hey major, thank you so much for the good words about the site. i can not stress the gratitude i have for the job you and the men and women of our armed forces are doing over there. if not for the likes of you, we would not have the freedoms we so enjoy. stay safe and kick ass!



   heyou, sir, do not call fine christian women slugs from what i have read you chose to affiliate yourself with white trash women who show their body's to all davits of all color. sir you are truly damned. you are a whoremaster. and will never see the kingdom of god. you are sir what is wrong with america a diease that needs to be cured. you have choosen the wrong path. travis, south carolina
   hey travis, sir, what the hell does "all davits of all color" mean? see what a 6th grade education gets you? how many of your family members does it take to get a full set of teeth? thanks for the laugh.



   heyou, please you must repent and remove your link from that harlots page. we have prayed for you to be saved here. now you must remove all your connections with this scarlet woman. she is damned to a a after life of eternal hell fire and brimstone. she will suffer torments for her sexual sinful nature. come and join us at the christians web. we will link you up with a good christian woman with morals. let the whore go. wanda, 51, alabama
   hey wanda, your condemnation of this "harlot" proves to me that you are far more judgmental then i know a good christian ought to be. what god died and made you god? you don't know this person, but chose to judge anyway. apparently, the natural drive humans have for sex is sinful in your eyes. when do you people have sex? only to produce children? then only silently in the dark and then pray for forgiveness afterwards if you moved a little or it felt good? i have no use for any woman you could ever conjure up for me. you self righteous bible thumping slugs make me puke.



   heyou, i married this younger woman (about 34 she is) she recently asked me to another person into our relationship. At first i was liking the idea but then i found out that the other person is a domainatetrics. I tried it once and it didn't feel the way would. i felt jealous and insecure. I stopped doing it. But i suspect my wife is still dabbling in this affair .what should i do. i wish i had never said yes. was looking at this hot big chested babe and she told me to come here. I am glad i did this page is very insightful. vinny, 45, chicago, ill.
   hey vinny, you may not be able to turn back the hands of time. sounds like your wife is hooked into this relationship. seems you have few options. you could accept the lifestyle and work into it yourself or you could get you and your wife into some counseling or you could leave her if she is so determined that her lifestyle is better then a life with you. seems the age difference has worked against you. good luck.



   heyou, I am afraid of the inpending war we are about to have. I don't want to fight, get killed or kill anyone. If i got drafted I think i would run away to canada or something my friends all feel the same way. we all feel help and scared. i consider myself a mans man too. i am no wimp! I just don't believe in this war. my dad thinks i am a wuss. What do i do? got here expecting to see a hot babe naked and linked to you instead. good stuff here. david, 19, allentown, pa
   hey david, back in the day, i too was ready to run to canada, but i didn't have to. i don't think you will have to either. i don't see you as a wuss and i think those that do are short sighted and wrong. what we need to do during all this turmoil is support our troops. no matter what you think of the war, the troops volunteered to fight for us and they need and deserve our support.



   heyou, i just found out may mom has been cheating on my dad with my best bud's mom. I am devasted. i am too young to know all this shit. i walked in on them because i had gotten off early from school and was looking for my friend. we live in a neighborhood were people leave thier doors unlocked. since i know these people all my live too, i usually just let myself in. well, 3 days ago was different. I am staying at my other buddies house now since this happened. I can't even look at my mom. i haven't told my dad either. What the fuck can i do now? i liked this page most you seem like you really care. I found you through a ranter babe. derik, 17, nyc.
   hey derik, i can't imagine what i would have done at 17 after seeing my mom dining at the 'y' with my best friend's mom. it totally sucks to be you. what reaction did mom have when you busted her? did she try to explain? has she tried to talk to you? you need to talk to your mom about this. no matter what she says, she has to tell your dad. it's not right to put you in the middle of this like she has. it's up to her to straighten out this mess. what's your buddy think? i hope your neighborhood doesn't find out and if they do, i hope they are kind to you. after all, it's you that got hurt the worst in all this. in the end, if she is sorry, you need to forgive her, and put it all behind you. sometimes we slip up and follow a fantasy, only to get into a jam. there will be a time when you will need to be forgiven for something too. part of being a good person is to forgive. if not, there is always jerry springer. i wish you luck.



   heyou, i hope you can answer this for me my problem is that i am in love with the woman who has linked your page I read all her crap faithfully and write her everyday and still this woman doesn't not respond. She seems to know you although i don't know how well because she has linked your site to hers maybe you could help me meet this lady all i want is one chance with her man help me ok? hopelessly in love, john. p.s., thanks, you seem like a nice guy. john, 47,  memphis
   hey  john, i am sure most all the guys that go to her page create a scenario in their collective heads that is far removed from what and who she really is. maybe she puts out (no pun intended) a vibe you misinterpret. beats me. i got to know her before i saw her site and i will leave the rest to your imagination. obviously she does not want to be your girl and has chosen not to respond to your stalking nature. yes, john, i am a nice guy, but i can not facilitate a meeting with her, sorry.
john responds:

   hey asshole, how dare you post that i am a stalker. you don't know me! you can have your whore think she loves you? HA! you could never be with a woman like thaT! she linked you because she feels sorry for your ugly old ass. I wrote her and told her what a piece of shit you really are. she tells me you are gay! a real man, john
   hey john, your response is very amusing and i thank you for the laugh. i could go through all your childish points in detail, but why bother? you said it yourself, "I read all her crap faithfully and write her everyday and still this woman doesn't not respond." (what the hell is "doesn't not"?) what do you call harassing someone everyday with no response, if not stalking? get a life, she obviously wants nothing to do with you. perhaps you would have better luck stalking your sister. the "ranter lady" adds her bit:
   mike, all i can say is that i didn't "doesn't not" say you are gay! you are hilarious! it's like i set the music, these people sing to you, and you bang a big huge GONG! i am serious you don't miss a beat. Actually, i am not impressed that he reads all my crap everyday. What really impressed me, is that he writes you back and calls me your whore! Now i know i love him! LAUGHING and SMILING here ! i am pissing my pants here...(you want to watch!) just kidding. you are one enigma in a million, Your whore, A. ps, ann landers is turning over in her grave.
   hey a., sure, i'll watch.



   heyou, it is hard for me to share this with you but my problem runs deep. I have been married for over 30 years now and have just found out the my husband has been cheating on me the whole time. I am a broken woman. I feel that our whole marriage has been a lie. We have 4 children together, they are all fine adults. Now that i am old I feel that he has taken my best years from me and I have wasted all this time believing in something that has only been my dream not his. he is still sleeping as i type this, in our marriage bed. I don't know what to do? How can I leave him? I built my whole life around him? I am old now and tired who would want me now? I found you from one of his on my husbands favorites computer websites through a link. I am puzzled though? Not what i had expected? Thought you were both pornsites like the others? Does my husband write to you to? mary, 64, cliftonforge, Virginia
   hey  mary, first of all, i am sorry to hear about your situation. there are no easy answers. your options are few. 1) you can stay with him and endure his actions and be forever miserable. i doubt you want that. 2) cut your losses and boot his ass out. grab up your half and start over. find a hobby and join a group that shares that hobby. get involved with a group doing things you like. join a health club. there are people of all ages there. i'm sure you could meet someone all the while working out and staying healthy. live for mary. as you can see, my website is not a porn site. your husband has never written to me that i know of. good luck. mary responds:
   heyou, thank you so much for your response. it helps to know that i am not alone. I will take your advice. seems like you and both your lady friend have given the same answers. She has gone so as to finding a VFW hall in my area that i can volunteer at. Seems you both think i should leave him and find someone who is worthy of me. I called the hall and guess what, they are throwing a dance and they need me too help. I can't tell you how long it has been since i was invovled with anything fun like planning a dance. thank you all, mary
   hey  mary, it's not going to be easy and you will never forget the past. given time, the hurt will heal, but the scar will remain. you will, however, create new memories and feel good about yourself. surround yourself with family and friends, both old and new. may your new dance in life keep you happy and laughing always.



   heyou, I am a married man who works all day while my wife goes on the internet. She has recently told me that she is leaving me for some guy she has meet there. all i ever tried was do the right thing by her and our 2 daughters and now she does this. It gets worse she has never even seem this guy in person this guy. Only talks to him while i am at work and yet she says she loves him? How can this be? You are on the net. please tell me. the guys calls my house to and hangs up when i answer. I love my wife and want to keep my family together. all i ever do is look at women on the internet, That's how I found you. you were linked to a womans page. does everyone on the internet screw each other. I am ready to throw this dang computer out the window. I am rambling on. sorry.  john, 26, new berlin, ny., 
   hey  john, it seems internet love rarely works out. apparently, your wife has taken steps to hook up with a net buddy. let her go, it's over. her heart is elsewhere and even if this guy ends up not being with her, she will find another. you are young and you can start over. it hurts, but the hurt goes away. staying with her would just make the hurt last every day you are still with her. could you ever trust her again? it's not worth it. fight for shared custody. good luck.



   heyou, i am a man with a terrible secret that i have been keeping from my wife and family. I am addicted to heroine. It started what i did alittle after the pub closed one night i was drunk and ended up sleeping with this prostitute at her flat. We partied a little before we played. I found that I actually loved snorting the drug and began purchasing it from her every chance I get. Now I can not live without it. my wife and family know something is wrong. i just can't me self to tell them what an arse i am. Help me man. found you on a link I feel that i can not go on. patrick, 31, dublin, ireland.
   hey patrick, if you really love your wife and family, you will get help and stop your drug addiction. you know inside that you will fall further into a self destructive hole if you fail to end your fucked up ways. good luck. patrick responds:
   heyou, I thank you. I can't stop though. i told me family and they are putting me into sanitarium later today. right now i am doing my last bundle. thanks for the goodluck i will need it.




   heyou, My wife is a jerk because she watches stupid shows on tv. James,  Nashua NH
   hey james, maybe if you were more attentive to her or more interesting than bad television, maybe she would watch you instead.



   heyou,  i lost my job yesterday and my bills are past due. on top of all this i have to have sugery in the morning.i really love my girlfrend but i would have to say my ass is going to go to jail for something i didnt do. she said she would wait and i belive her. larry, shitsville
   hey larry, shitsville sounds about right. sounds to me like your life took a header. i'm sure it's none of your fault either. uh huh. i think it depends on how long your ass is in jail as to whether your girl friend waits for you. good luck.



   heyou, I have a serious problem I had sex with two others guys (at the same time) while I have a relationship with a girl. It's such a mess!!! And worst of all, I wanna have sex again with those two guys cause it was soooo good!!! But my girlfriend is such a babe!! And my friends adore her, without her, I don't think I stand somewhere.. there is also another problem when I have sex with my girlfriend.. It's soooo boring most of the time I feel like I wanna light up a cigarette. So what should I do? Samantha, Amerika
   hey samantha, first of all, what's your number? dump those two other guys and ring up an advice guy you know. just kidding. well, maybe. anyway, you need to ask yourself, do you really need to stay in a relationship to "stand somewhere" because the person you are with offers some sort of standing with your friends? you say the sex is boring, so what's the point? does she offer anything substantial otherwise? the only positive aspect your girlfriend seems to have is that she is "such a babe". perhaps she needs to ring up an advice guy you know. yes, seriously. no, i digress. it would be easier if i knew how old you are. so just how bi are you? would a life with a female satisfy you the rest of your life? doesn't much sound like it with the one you're with now. you are basically cheating on her, so the lie has been set. if you keep sexing around behind her back, she will eventually find out and all the lying you have done will be for nothing and she will never trust you again. you are obviously looking for something and great sex is always a good find, but it's not everything in a great relationship. if you like this girl enough, teach her what good sex is all about. tell her how you feel about this problem. if that works, you will have your hot babe and great sex too. works for me. maybe get her involved with these two guys and send videos. just kidding. vhs or dvd, doesn't matter to me. no, really, i'm kidding again. seems to me you need to decide if she is the one for you or not. make a choice and be honest with her about that choice. lastly, you need to quit smoking cigarettes. best of luck.



   heyou, Hi!I'am 24 years old female. I'am going out with a guy 23 years old for about 2 months. the problem is that he has been with another for about 5 years. He said that he needs time to leave her cause he feels pity on her i think. He is sweet i want him to be in love with me. He said that he loves me cause i'am making him happy. I don't know where is the problem but i want to improve my love to him. I mean how should I treat him. We made love 1 time then another time we was alone I was in my period time so he thought that this is a revange cause he didn't leave her yet. He is making me confused cause I want him to be with me so I'am afraid to loose him if i do something wrong or something make him upset. Please understand me i want him. I want to improve our relation. Jocelyne beirut, lebanon
   hey jocelyne, seems he is playing both you and his other girl. as long as you are actively proving how much you want him, he will continue playing with both of you because he thinks two is better than one. my thinking is, he does not want you like you want him. love can not be forced and you need to set a time limit for wasting your love on one that may never love you in return. once you reach that limit, cut your losses and move on, as it was never to be. he is young and he may no doubt continue to move on from girl to girl. do you want to be a member of his 'big book of girls' or are you better than that? good luck.



   heyou, my english isn't very good, but I'll do my best to explain my problem. last year I had a lot of friends , everything wos so easy for me, I loved and had been loved. Now everything changed I lost all my friends ,I cannot smile, I cannot be happy, people who love me suffer and I'm loosing them. I need a new sence of life. What should I do? Thank's. Angel, Ivano-frankivsk, Ukraine
   hey angel, your english was fine. you failed to tell me what might have happened to turn your life upside down. did you break up with someone? are you depressed? perhaps you should try and focus on something in your life that matters to you, something you have not been giving much time to lately. have any hobbies? want a new one? join a health club and work out. turn your times of sorrow into a new you, both mentally and physically. bust through the crap that has you down and rise up above the bullshit. you can do it if you work hard and want to improve yourself. you can meet new friends as well as be seen as a strong woman on a mission of self improvement. good luck. angel replies:
   heyou, my life is getting better but it still has it's "dark side". Thanks a lot for your advise. Yes, I do have hobby I'm a singer in a rock group "Unbalanced" and sometimes I work like a model. You mentioned me breaking up with somebody, you are right. I lost very important person J. that loved me very much, I cheeded on him with his best friend T., I did not dated with J, we had very strange relationships liked J a lot, but I could not date with him cause I'm a free love person and I'm getting tired from boyfriend very quickly, he knew it , but probably he hoped that Iíll change and I was giving him that hope. I hate myself. When J came back from Spain( he was there during summer) we spent 3 days together (T. was in another city) we almost spent night together did not tell him the truth , when T. returned he tolled J. everything . J was so mad , he broke up with T. and got drunk ( he wrote me sms. ďI loved youĒ) the next day T. and J. tolled and got along, they are still best friends. In 2 days J brought all my stuff and said that Iím not existing for him any more, all my free love philosophy is crap, he hates me, but for me he could lose his best friendÖ.Iím confused. Iím still going out with T. he loves me a lot. he studyís in another city , so I can see him just on weekend. J. is in my college so I see him from time to time. I even have English class with him.. I think I love j, but itís just because he doesnít t need me any more. How do you think? What do I need to do? You might not understand the situation, I just want to know your point of view in general. Thank you. Angel
   hey angel, it's good you know and see the cause of your sadness. you admit that you cheated and now you suffer the consequences. sometimes we think we want what we can't have, just to learn we lost what we always wanted, as it was right there in front of us the whole time. we rarely change. we knowingly do the wrong things at times and once done, we must live our bad deeds. don't throw your "free love philosophy" away. you are young and you only learn from your mistakes. one day you will look back on all of this and see that you learned much from your actions. try to be happy again. do things and be with others that are happy. if you truly feel 't' loves you and you love him, then work at the relationship and no more cheating. if you do not love 't', then let him go. you need to let 'j' go, as he may never trust you again and there will always be doubt inside him. doubt is a hard wall to take down. please don't focus on things you can't have. give yourself to those that want and love you. happiness will follow. good luck.



   heyou, hi buddy i know this site flukly but still i have trust in u so i am asking simple question.... once i fall in love & i get lose...she married to onther guy all my friend know that & they spoile my image...already i have shoke for lossing her & now i cant able to make friends...all thinks that iam flirt but actuly family prob she didnt accept me...i want recreat my image ..asa kool guy...but i cant can u guideme or email me thank u... nimish, india
   hey nimish, i fail to see why you worry about what image your friends see in you. was it your fault your girl moved on to another guy? trust me, time will heal the hurt. it may never completely go away, but it will get better. try and simply be yourself, as trying to be someone you are not is never "kool". eventually, your friends and others will see the real you and not the phony "kool" guy you are trying to be. people like people that are comfortable with themselves, have a positive attitude, and are outright friendly. smile a lot. be confident. be yourself.



   hey HeyU! ok so there is this guy, he name is Bob (not realy)nonethe less bob and i are best friends... he is 17 and i'm 16. When we first met we realy liked eachother but didn't act on it sence we live two hours away:( ever since we have been best friends and he even came 2 homecoming with me and spent the night at my house. My mom adorse him and so does my dog (&ferret). We can tell eachother anything, and we do, we talk on the phone basicaly every day. My point is i still realy like him:( and while we have both been dating i still get the vibe he likes me2:) I don't know what i should do? I mean we are just friends, good friends but i feel so much for him, and i have told him, but i don't know what i can do to distract myself until we are in a position where going out, would actualy be a posibility since long distance relation shis don't usualy work :(  Maya, Melbouring Florida
   hey maya, falling in love with a best friend happens a lot. let's face it, they are our best friend for a reason. same interests, same likes and dislikes, and you just get along so well. sometimes, however, starting a love relationship with a best friend fails and the friendship fails as well. you need to be sure that you are willing to risk the friendship. it could be the best thing you ever could do to eventually marry your best friend or it could be the worst thing. if i were you, i would continue to be best friends with 'bob' and date around a bit with others. do the friend stuff like hanging out (when you can) and spilling your guts to bob. let's face it, you both are still young. after your minds mature a year or two more, you will both know more about your feelings, have dated around a bit to better judge if your best friend can be someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, and be better able to travel and see each other more. it's a double edged sword and can cut you if you are not careful. i wish you both luck.



   heyou, I'm in love with Leon and I have talked to him on the web via his site for over a year. I'm psychic and I've been there with him for a few experiences. When we were both alone in the dark and wondering when we would find the one. I'd wake up at nite when he was online posting on his board to talk to him. I finally got up the nerve to call him. He was polite. Then I called him again. He was kinder this time. Then when I called he started calling me Kiddo. Then about a week ago my esp kicked in and I knew that he had met someone. I'm 1200 miles away and have never met him face to face but I adore this man completely. I'm the type of esp who can be a true empath. It's hard on me sometimes because that means that my psychic boundaries can be trammelled easily and I'm working on that. When I called last he said that he was on the other line with what he guesses is his new girlfriend in Paris. I hung up as quickly as possible. 
I know that was a total blow off. And I'm feeling too hurt to wish him happiness with his new love. And I know I have to forget him. I don't want to be this man's friend only. I need more from him than that and anything else is poison to my soul. I can't even tell him how I feel. I'd love to make sure that he sees this post and never know for sure if it was from me. I guess that would be hard to do. P. S. My guardian angel tells me in my dreams that this man is not good for me. I guess that is true. He is destined for someone else. I'm hoping that one day he will be sorry he passed up on the chance to go out with me. Diana, Apollo's Knee
   hey diana, it's easy to become entranced with the unknown. the mind creates the fantasy and it becomes all encompassing and beautiful. the problem is, it's not real. you created something from nothing. leon obviously continued to correspond with who knows how many others while you may have assumed you were the only one. is that what you want, someone that is not satisfied with only you? consider yourself lucky, as you can and should move on. leon never was to be and you should and will forget about him eventually. i wish you luck.



   heyou, Ive been suicidal for some time now, but only past month have I been really serious about it. I am convinced my death is achievable, and I can do it quite painlessly and hopefully less time consuming. Ive never thought about death as much as I have lately. It consumes me, I dont work or go to school, and laugh as I know deep inside all the assholes that were mean to me, will be sorry, and I feel bad for my niece and nehpew, especially the nehpew, cause he is only 4 and thinks hes going to marry me, forgive me, I am mentally retarded too by the way, I have manic depression so I think that qualifies.... Darcy M., Saint Petersburg, Florida
   hey darcy, as hard as life seems to be now, in truth, it tends to get harder. however, the problems you have now are not so bad as to end your life over them. there has to be someone in your life that you can talk to. there are people that can help you get through this hard time you seem to be having. i feel you are reaching out and want help. please seek it.



   heyou, I have never had sex but I want to. where do I find a guy who will have sex with me. I am only 16 and I don't want to pay money. I need guidance in my life. Hail heyou
   hey unknown, you failed to mention whether you are a guy or a girl yourself. it could make a difference in your inability to "find a guy". you should really have no problem finding someone at little or no cost. perhaps you should wait until the right person comes along, not just any somebody. one day, you will find your guy. in the mean time, fly solo.



   heyou, All my friends are losers, and by this winter, it will have been 3 years since a I have done the naked dance with a woman (gratuitous gay joke here), my car is a piece of crap geo (date repellant), and between working and doing music, I have no time for a social life. I don't make enough money to impress anyone and I'm too tired to date even if I had the time. What do I do? coop, DeLand, Florida.
   hey coop, suicide is your only option. seriously, stop being so damn picky. find a somewhat willing female, get her liquored up, and do the horizontal mambo. do it at her place, in the event she appears unsightly in the morning. i get the feeling your shitty attitude will improve with just one spooging. hell, get a hooker and stop your bitching.



   heyou, I lied to someone that I met online. And he's my best friend ever now. We've known each other for a few years. And I lied about being married. I told him I'm not when I am and now what do I do?  I suppose I thought that it wouldn't matter as I would never meet him.  But now I do want to meet him, but I can't very well show up with my wedding ring on or my husband in tow.  I'm in big trouble. And I'm going to lose my friend over all of this in the end. It's quite a sad mess. The worst part is I'm considering lying to my husband about my whereabouts so that I can meet the online guy without them knowing about each other. me, Louisiana
   hey me, you need to decide if you love your husband enough to fess up to this online guy. looks to me like you are distant from your hubby, thus the need to find and have this online friend to begin with. if you love and want your hubby, tell your online friend the truth. if he no longer wants to be your friend, so be it. if you are at the end of the having a hubby thing, set up a meet with the friend in a public place, preferably with another friend. see what's up. maybe he is married too and isn't telling you his whole story. perhaps fix one problem before you fire up another.
 

 
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